Then Palin called someone else, unknown, leaving this voicemail:Prejean: Hello?
Palin: Hello! Is this Carrie Pre-jeen?Prejean: Well, no, it's called Pray-zhawn, but yes, it's me!
Palin: Oh, okie doke. Well, Carrie, this is--
Prejean: Jesus?
Palin: No. It's Sarah Palin, the gov--.
Prejean: Freedom of screech! Speak!? Speech? Speech, I think.
Palin: Oh, gosh. I'm not sure. So anyway--
Prejean: If I don't screech, er, speech fast my thought gets in the way and then what's the point? I knew I'd have to mention that freedom thingy sometime soon, though, so I did it while I remembered to--(loud thud)
Palin: CARRIE!?
Prejean (panting): Sorry. If I say two or more long sen-ten-cences together I get light-headed and fall over.
Palin: But you're okay?
Prejean: That's odd. I never thought of that before. How can you tell the difference? I know I'm not down on the floor any more, but--
(loud thud)
Plain: Carrie?
Prejean (panting): Sorry. It won't happen again.
Palin: Oh, dear. Well, believe me, I totally understand. I'll keep it short then. Listen--
Prejean: Mommy?
Palin: No. Uh, Carrie, I was wondering if--
Prejean: Who is this?
Palin: Sarah Palin. Governor of Alaska--
Prejean: That's hilarious. Is that like chicken of the sea or something?
Palin (laughing): I wish. No, Carrie, I wanna ask you something, okie doke?
Prejean: Hold on, Mr. O'Reilly's on the other line.*click*
Palin: Golly. Sure. If you--*click*
Prejean: Sorry about that, Jesus. I think Bill's allergic to phone plastic, he breathes so heavy when he calls, but he always seems okay on the TV.
Palin: Carrie, I was calling because I'd like you to be my running mate in 2012, and I wanna know whaddya think?
Prejean: I'm already runner up, silly.
Palin: No. Running mate. My partner on the campaign trail...
Prejean: *no response* (barely audible breathing)
Palin: Hello? Did you pass out again?
Prejean: Mommy?
Palin: No, Carrie. Sarah. Palin. Sarah Palin, dear.
Prejean: My hair is pretty.
Palin: Oh, you betcha. Hear me winkin'? So, 2012--yes, no, maybe?
Prejean: Doctor says my boobs are filled with salt water. I say it's angel tears; two apple size angel tears. Have you seen them yet?
Palin: Uh, gosh, no. Look, Carrie. I just wanna know if it's gonna be you and me in 2012 or not?
Prejean: (long pause) You and me, hmmm? Well, the gays marrying is wrong and I'm not into long engagements even if it wasn't.
*click*
Palin: Oh, gee! Yuck. Of course, it's wrong--
*dial tone*
Hey, it's Mama Grizzly. She's real witty and she's got traditional values: talked about Jesus, mother and no gay marryin'. She's not the longwinded type, which I like. She stayed on her agenda and didn't get distracted or go off topic so I know she won't make a darn fool outta herself in public or during interviews. I see a teeny weeny problem though: she needs to tone down the fancy talk if she wants to connect with our voters. She said some high-falutin' thing about freedom from speech, I think it was; she just can't go talking over people's head like that. Other than that I think she's just super duper. Oh, what's she known for again? See ya later.
Well, there ya have it. Two variations on the same theme. Of course, I can actually believe Sarah Palin could think that she can pick her VP long beforehand, or someone so young, but that's just part of her overall charm, I suppose. It does look like a can't miss ticket though, no pun intended. I'm sure the wheels are turning hard and fast in GOP land at the thought of this mavericky, dynamic duo hitting the campaign trail together!
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27 comments:
ZIRGAR - How funny. You and I had similar thoughts and around the same time. I posted a piece about these two as well on my blog. What drones these two ladies are! :)
LOL--great minds think alike, no? Just look at those two. LOL
No. I mean Yes! Great minds us two! LOL
Two peas in a pod = Sarah and Carrie. The churches do such a good job at making all their little drones exactly, ticky-tacky alike.
It's such a shame, really, because I know that not all Christians are such complete dolts like these two, but if the right is gonna keep defending morons like these two and hold them up as examples of good people, I think they're even dumber than they look, and they look really, really dumb.
Yes, it's a damn shame.
Nite ZIRGAR...I'm fading...zzzzzz :)
Good night, sleepyhead. lol
Just what I needed this AM... a good laugh.
Cheers!
This was great but a little scary. I always say the scariest things are the things that could actually happen (actually I probably borrowed that from Stephen King).
I've got the perfect tag line for those two..."The Dumb & Dumber Tour of Religious Politics."
Skye: Glad I could accommodate :-)
Sidhe: The fact that either of these two are being taken seroiusly is the scary part. lol
Grandpa Eddie: LOL--you may be on to something there.
That is fucking fantastic! But I think Mr. O'Reilly really wants to do it with Rush.
I think you made Sarah Palin seem to normal.
But that's just me.
Riot Kitty: You may be right, but that'll just have to remain in his closet. lol
Phuck: She doesn't talk this normal, but I'm not a good enough writer to make up a conversation between two idiots AND make it go somewhere. Besides, I needed a "straight man" to play off of Prejean's loopiness. LOL
Thanks for dropping by VNV. Came to have a peek, but can't...and want to leave this advice (plea): Get rid of the black BG, tiny white type and vicious blue links.
My eyes haven't hurt this bad since my cousin jokingly splashed my face with the left over puddle of salt and vinegar from the acetic french fry bath she considered a snack.
Cousinavi: thanks for stopping by yourself. You're not the first to suggest that I make a color change, but I get headaches from white or light screens. I will try to find a suitable compromise, but I won't promise anything. Just typing in this little white comment box is giving me a headache already. LOL.
Position flexible also!
@Zirgar - I think the Palin voicemail was spot on.
going where none had dared venture before.
Vapid meets banal. Izzat vapal or banid?
Matt: She's obviously a Yoda fan.
Phuck: Thanks. It hurt my brain to try to see how Palin might've interpreted that conversation.
Woody: I'd rather not think about that right now, I'm trying to eat.
This is absolutely both hysterical and scary, since there are actually people out there defending this moron ( I mean Carrie not Sarah)in the name of Christianity. When did it become OK for stupid to be a good thing?
Willpen: It became accepted the day G.W. Bush was elected. Actually, it was accepted both times he was elected, but was reconfirmed and reinforced the second time it happened.
@Zirgar - I would said it became accepted the day Ronald Reagan was elected.
Apple Sized Angle Tears.
OMG.
That is so wrong.
Seeing Eye Chick: I know, but nothing can keep me from speaking truth to power. LOL
Phuck: I think you may be on to something there! lol
I had to pause at the Engel Tears section to catch my breath. Too damn funny.
And as has been said above, so scary because it's so close to the truth. I can even see the governator winking over the phone. Makes me shudder.
Those two are a perfect pair: clueless in the USA. So sad. Except for the funny parts.
Poietes: It's funny because it's so sad, or maybe it's funny because it's so sad. Either way, these two need to just diappear and the rest of us will be all the better for it.
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