Man in line at DMV: I'd like to get a driver's license.
DMV Birther: Ok, do you have two forms of ID?
Man: Yes, I have my social security card and my birth certificate.
Birther: Birth certificate, eh? How do I know it's legitimate?
Man: Well, unless you have good reason to doubt it why would you?
Birther: Don't get smart, sir. I need proof that it's a legitimate b.c.
Man: How would I go about doing that?
Birther: See, I can't really say how you would go about it because what I consider valid proof changes from one minute to the next, depending on my mood, what the goat entrails might reveal or what the high pitched screeching voices in my head tell me. Frankly, it's a crap shoot. The point is that I know I need something valid to prove the legitimacy of your b.c. and while I don't know what that proof is now, I'll know it when I see it.
Man: So you need something legitimate to validate the legitimacy of my birth certificate, but you won't know what it is until you see it, yet you expect me to know what you require as proof? Where does it end? What's to stop you from then needing something else to validate the legitimacy of the proof used to validate the legitimacy of my b.c.? And so on and so on and so on, ad infinitum?
Birther: Exactly, so you better get started! Unless you're trying to hide something. Anyway, our hours are posted--
Man: This is unbelievable! What could I possibly have to hide?
Birther: Sir, I have no idea what you may have to hide, and I'm not saying that you do have something to hide. I'm just saying that it looks pretty fishy that you can't provide any proof that you have nothing to hide. That's all.
Man: But there's really no way I can satisfy your "criteria" for proof!
Birther: See? I knew you were from Kenya!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
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24 comments:
I find it hard to believe these people are serious. I keep running into a similar thing on my blog with the pro-gun guys. They consider anyone who disagrees with them as the enemy and when dealing with the enemy, it's perfectly acceptable to lie or exaggerate or pretend not to understand. Then they repeat it so often, they themselves begin to believe it, meanwhile many of lower intelligence buy into it completely.
I think that's what happened with these "birther" nuts.
Birther: Birth certificate, eh? How do I know it's legitimate?
You'd need to show them an obviously-fake Kenyan birth certificate. They'd accept that as being real without question.
Mike: I know. I read your blog, but I'm not about to get caught up in all of that gun stuff. I posted a very sarcastic respone to one of your blogs a few weeks back that really expresses not my view, but how I see many pro-gun people's views, namely that in the right to own arms there will be collateral damage in that innocent people will die due to gun violence, but that's the price those pro-gun people are willing to pay.
And you're right, it does seem to be a similar mindset with the birthers. Scary.
Infidel753: You snuck in on me with a comment while I was trying to respond to Mike. lol.
Are you trying to say that these people see as proofs what thay want to see as proofs? Well, then how can anyone carry on a serious, reasonable debate with them? Oh, wait--it can't be done. My bad!
Isn't funny, how people who also claim to want less government, know instinctually how to act like an insane power mad bureaucrat?
And the reason the same sort of logic prevails with some gun nuts and all birthers is that --not to put too fine a point on it, but they are all from the same voting block.
You proved the point exactly... you can't reason with, argue with, or even debate with these people at all. I think the Queen as they call her, on MSNBC the other day... she just wants to spew venom, you can't converse with her.. when they tried she just screamed at them and accused them of trying to muzzle her..
That woman is bat shit crazy I think.. and Alan Keyes, the one who helped her get started is just as bad.
Seeing Eye Chick: Yeah, they fear the gov't acting just like they do, which is ironic, to say the very least. Maybe I see irony too conveniently; maybe it's just plain ol' hypocrisy on their part.
Annette: Amen! One can only reason with people who define the debate's terms in the same way, otherwise, it's just people talking at each other. There's no dialectic happening.
Is this why the DMV is so fucking slow?
Oh this is just fantastic!!
Phuck: Yeah, I'm afraid so.
Riot Kitty: Thank you!
silly! all you'd have to do is wear an 'i hate obama' t-shirt, and you could show them a birth certificate from the moon, and they'd believe it.
Nonnie: DOH! Why didn't I think of that?!
Very funny, Zirgar. But what a distraction this whole nonsensical birther stuff is. Don't we have 14,000 people a day losing their insurance coverage? Unemployment in double digits? Debt up to wazoo? But instead, wingnuts are focusing on what really matters -- their own certifiable kookiness.
Elizabeth: Thank you. And you're exactly right. Why should the GOP get people to really focus on healthcare and real substantial issues when it can distract them with stupid shit like birth certificates and any other number of ridiculous red herrings?
@Elizabeth - All that stuff is happening because Obama is not an American. Compare America with Kenya and you will see how we are slowly becoming the same. These people see that and they're doing everything in their power to stop it. These people are real Americans and God bless them.
Dear science, I just looked into the black hole of ignorance and it made me shit my pants.
Phuck: Amen. They're real patriots doing God's work to stop that Muslim Kenyan madman Obama from driving this great country into the ground. If Obama has to kill a few of the elderly along the way, or has to demand that people have sex changes just to make sure blacks get paid back for slavery then that's just what he has to do, dammit, and these warriors will do everything in their power to see that he fails!
Well done. I came here via Riot Kitty. I have posted about these "birthers" simply because they are total idiots.
Since I was adopted...I have a birth record with one name and a birth certificate with another...I could legally submit my birth "record" and get another birth certificate issued. Wouldn't Orly Taitz love me!
I think they've already taken over the DMV here in MI (which is referred to as the Secretary of State...ha! SOS!)...
Thank you, Phuck. Now that you've explained it, it all makes sense to me. Indeed, God bless these wonderful people and the whole white America, the land of freedom and democracy and the bestest health care ever! (waving my tiny flag -- and proudly, of course!)
Stan Freeberg, or bob'n'ray, would be PROUD, brother Z!
Excellent!
TheMom: Welcome aboard! Well, I shoulda made it clear in my post but I failed to do so, but it would only a problem for you if you're black. lol.
Sidhe: Stupidity is like water pressure, it seeks its own density, so the stupid is everywhere all of a sudden.
Elizabeth: Phuck is the unofficial clarifier of political ideology here at Zirgar's. Glad to see he showed you the way...
Woody: Thank you, sir! I appreciate it!
My tinfoil hat just got a little tighter...
Dr. Zaius: That's because your brain just got bigger from reading my blog. It has that effect on people...and apes. lol
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